This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Someone signed my nipple.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
