you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize