Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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