i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
