Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
