hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize