My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize