i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
