Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
