Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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