So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
