I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
