My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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