community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
