yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
