I wish I could punch you in the face.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
