I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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