If i come over, it means nothing
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
