After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
