Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize