how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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