Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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