his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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