Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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