I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
