Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
