I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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