remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize