So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
