All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i think i have two assholes
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
