Sponge bath it is.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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