11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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