please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
