yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
