I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
