all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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