You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
