North Korea, Best Korea!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
