she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize