Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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