the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
