He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
