Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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