...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize