One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i think i just lost a toe
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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