theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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