I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize