I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
