Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
