I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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