I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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