last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
