Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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