Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize