Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
The air taste purple.
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