Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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