Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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