just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
