just tell him i said nine months
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
