Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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