i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
