I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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