I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
