She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Pants are for mortals
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