She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
