I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm bleeding and have questions
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
