we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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