her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
this just has baby written all over it
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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