Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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