You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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