ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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