She is in my trunk
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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