make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Bring me that man meat
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
