Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
