If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
